Punchinello’s Chronicles

August 9, 2010

The Illinois Tax Miracle

Filed under: Surely a Jest? — Punchinello @ 7:23 pm
Tags: , , ,

We’re told that Presidents Bush and Reagan were only giving tax cuts to the wealthy. We were told that cutting taxes only makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. We were told that tax cuts never work! We were told that “trickle-down economics” was ridiculous, and may as well be a form of “voodoo economics,” otherwise known as Reaganomics! And yet, Gov. Pat Quinn of Illinois wants to cut taxes in order to…raise revenues!

The Laffer curve along with history have proven over and over again that cutting taxes increases revenues. That means more money coming in to the government, regardless of whether or not they deserve it. Every single time that the government cuts taxes, they end up with more money coming into their coffers. The fact that they spend it all, then borrow more isn’t all that important. They have more money coming in, and that’s a simple fact.

On the other hand, the Democrats in particular like to tell us that cutting taxes is no good. It’s not fair, to somebody or other, we’re not sure whom. We’re told that in order to cut taxes, “we” (i.e., the government) have to somehow pay for those tax cuts. We’re told that all the money in the economy basically belongs to the people’s government, and they’re willing to let us keep some of it out of kindness and charitable good will.

So what’s this I see about the Illinois Governor, the Honorable Pat Quinn? By gosh, he’s providing a “tax holiday” during August! He’s going to forego the Illinois state sales tax on school supplies for a few days! Why?

Well, it turns out that Gov. Quinn went to school and took a course on economics. That’s a class that examines the theory and meaning of money and business, for those of you who’ve never heard of economics. In this class, young Mr. Quinn learned that by cutting taxes, people have more money to spend. With more money to spend, they buy more stuff.

Buying more stuff is Very Important! That’s what drives the American Economy nowadays. Not producing more stuff, not building more stuff, not inventing more stuff, not manufacturing more stuff; buying more stuff! And you, The American Consumer are falling down on the job! You’re not buying enough!

Suppose you go to Wal-Mart to buy 1 notebook, 1 pencil, and 1 pen. Not that you could, but suppose. When you get to the checkout counter, you’ll discover that the total for your purchase is one thing, but the added sales tax is another. Presumably, according to Gov. Quinn, you’ll have less money to spend on supplies because of that tax.

Imagine that!

Imagine a politician thinking (for no apparent reason) that when you have less money, you’ll spend less money! How bizarre is that!?

Alright; now suppose you hear that there’s NO sales tax at the front register! Wouldn’t that automatically make you want to go buy 2 pencils instead of one? Of course it would! It’s like hearing the word “Christmas” in July forces you to spend all the money you have on gifts for somebody-or-other. Money you likely would have used for say, a mortgage or rent payment, for food or for a fishing trip, suddenly gets sucked out of your wallet!

Not only would people have more money, due to this mysterious sales tax holiday, but because of that Good Feeling of having more money, people would buy more stuff. People who wouldn’t provide their children with school supplies, now would feel that it was okay to do so, what with no sales tax.

But here’s the thing:

The Democrats in Springfield (the capitol of Illinois) are screaming and tearing out their hair because, “Who’s going to pay for this?” They tell us that by giving back this massive amount of gold to the people of Illinois, “we” are ignoring the huge budget deficit! All that gold will disappear from the revenues, leaving Illinois broke and desperate.

But wait…isn’t Illinois already broke and destitute? Yup. We accidentally forgot to pay about $5-billion in bills, but that’s not a default. No way! It was…I dunno…some kind of Greek economic trick or something.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…down in Texas.

George W. Bush, recent president, put into effect a series of major tax cuts a few years ago. Those were the ones that would wreck the economy, destroy life as we know it, benefit only the rich, and wipe out the universe. Those tax cuts are due to expire at midnight, December 31, 2010. After that, the older tax code comes back into effect with huge tax increases to everyone.

How come Governor Quinn cites his economics class and tells us that by cutting taxes people will spend more money? How come he tells us that by spending more money, people will help stimulate the economy? Isn’t he with the program? Doesn’t he get the concept? What’s up with that?

Who’s right? The brilliant and educated mavens from Yale and Harvard who tell us that cutting taxes will destroy the economy as we know it? Or the strange and bedazzled Governor Quinn who tells us that cutting taxes will stimulate the economy?

Nobody knows. It’s surely a mystery!


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