Punchinello’s Chronicles

June 19, 2009

Mr. Obama and Credit Card Counseling

Filed under: Foolish Rants — Punchinello @ 2:43 am
Tags: , ,

The following transcript was taken from Secret Service logs at the White House.

(phone rings…)

Obama: Hello, Oval Office.

Caller: Hello, may I please speak with the man of the house?

O: This is he. How can I help you?

C: Sir, I’m so glad to reach you! I have good news! Our company can help you with all your credit card debt!

O: Excellent! I could use some help!

C: Really? Well that IS good news! First, I have to ask you; do you have over $17,000 in debt?

O: Oh yah, definitely got that!

C: Great! Do you have a steady source of income?

O: Well, probably for the next 3 years or so, I’m guessing.

C: That’s terrific sir. Let me explain. Did you know that right now, government programs have made it possible for you to pay only a fraction of what you owe to the big credit card companies!

O: Those darn credit card companies!

C: Yes sir. But the thing is, now you don’t have to declare bankruptcy! We can help you avoid the problems by working with the credit card companies. In many cases, we’ve been able to reduce our clients’ credit card debt to only a fraction of what they owe.

O: No kidding! You can do that for me?

C: Why, yes sir, I believe we can do that. These are programs the credit card companies don’t want you to know about! But we know about them, and we can use them to help you! First, let me ask you; approximately how much money do you owe?

O: Well, right now from what I hear, it looks like about $3 trillion dollars.

C: (Hah…hah..hah…) That’s very funny sir. But no, really. About how much do you owe?

O: Let’s just say it’s a whole lot of money.

C: Alright, we can work with that. Would you be interested if I told you we can probably reduce that debt down to maybe something like 15-cents on the dollar?

O: Gee, that’d be great! Sounds like my friends over at GM! What do I have to do?

C: Simply sign up for our program, and we’ll have a representative call you.

O: I’ve got lots of representatives. Which one are you thinking about? Not a Republican, I hope?

C: Sir?

O: Never mind. I was just kidding.

C: Ah, I see. Well in the mean time, I really just need to get a figure of approximately how much you owe.

O: Well, as I said, it looks to me like about $4 trillion dollars?

C: Sir, I appreciate a good sense of humor, but we want to try and work together here. And didn’t you just say a minute ago that it was only $3 trillion?

O: Well yes, but in the time we’ve been on the phone I just spent another trillion or so.

C: Sir, please! We really need to start taking this a bit more seriously. After all, it IS your credit rating, right?

O: I’m definitely taking this seriously. Just tell me this: Can I really wipe out my debt?

C: Yes you can! There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, after all. Many people have spent too much and can’t pay what they owe. Fortunately for you, the government is on your side! They don’t care about the credit card companies, just getting votes. I’m not supposed to say that, but it’s late and what the heck. You sound like a reasonable person.

O: I’m glad to hear that. So let’s go ahead and do this. When can I expect to stop paying anything?

C: Right after I get your name, sir. From that point forward, all you have to do is leave everything to us! If anyone calls asking you for payments, simply refer them to Credit Card Counselors of America.

O: Even the Chinese?

C: Sir? Why would the Chinese be calling you?

O: Well, I owe them a lot of money.

C: I see. Well, we can work with that.

(Sound-track fades, cue announcer.)

Yes, you can take advantage of government programs that allow you to avoid paying just about anything. Give us a call at Credit Counselors of America, and we’ll help you get rid of that debt in no time! You deserve more money! You deserve to buy whatever you want, whenever you want, without worrying about all that debt. Without worrying about all those calls and stressful bill collectors. Call us right now and we’ll help you get back to where you want to be!

We’re Credit Counselors of America, and we’re here to help!


1 Comment »

  1. […] more here:  Mr. Obama and Credit Card Counseling « Punchinello's Chronicles Share and […]

    Pingback by Mr. Obama and Credit Card Counseling « Punchinello's Chronicles | Credit Card Companies | Best Card Credit Information — June 19, 2009 @ 4:49 pm | Reply

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