Punchinello’s Chronicles

February 12, 2009

So You’re a Non-Smoker, Eh?

Filed under: Butterfly Wings — Punchinello @ 9:57 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

People who don’t smoke generally break out into two main categories. Let me light up a cigarette and discuss those categories. The first is the person who generally prefers not to smoke, and tends to avoid smoky places. They don’t much like the smell, but also tend to manage their own interaction with smoking.

The second category is the anti-smoking fanatic who not only doesn’t want to smoke, but doesn’t want anyone else to engage in that “stinking, filthy, disgusting habit that’s killing everyone on the planet.”

We’ll set aside the validity of second-hand smoke issues, and now the “third-hand” smoke studies. Nobody’s interested in the actual science, the actual facts, or the truth about any of it. No, it’s all about control and the sanctimonious, moral position of being better than those horrible smokers.


Let’s talk about the new SCHIP program expansion that’s been signed into law. This is the federally mandated State Children’s Health Insurance Program. It’s for the chilllllll-drunnnn…! Those poor children who don’t have health insurance, probably will die immediately, and in fact are probably dying on the streets of America as we speak.

This is a multi-billion-dollar plan, acting as one part of a multi-pronged operation to nationalize health care. Don’t believe it? That’s okay, too. Just wait and see.

How will we pay for this massive category of new health-care patients? Why, with additional taxes on cigarettes and tobacco, of course! (Cheers, huzzahs, and dancing in the streets!)

Lots of non-smokers are jubilant about this. After all, those horrible smokers should be made to pay, right? They’re adding massive burdens to the health-care system, killing themselves. Why shouldn’t they also pay for the chillll-drunnn? They’re evil people, killing babies in the crib by puffing foul and malodorous stink into infant lungs, right? Let’s force those evil smokers to pay, by gosh!

Despite Mr. Obama’s claim that he wouldn’t raise taxes on people earning less than $250,000 per year, that same Mr. Obama signed into law a tax increase of more than $6.50 PER carton of cigarettes at the wholesale level. That means the commensurate increase in price across the board, no matter who sells cigarettes.

Yay…way t’go Mr. Obama! You Go Doode! (I can hear the dancing in the streets as I puff on my own cigarette.)

Suppose smokers finally decide to quit? Or they simply can’t afford it anymore? That would be great, wouldn’t it? After all, if we can get people off those drugs of tobacco, we’ll all live in a smoke-free atmosphere. Life will be marvelous, and then we can go after fat people. Or we can go after pit-bull owners, or gun-owners, or SUV-owners, or Jews, or Muslims, or heroin addicts, or gamblers, or people with blue eyes. Right?

With the entire fate of humanity and our future generations at stake, what’s so bad about a bunch of evil smokers quitting? So what? We’ll just get the money somewhere else, right?

Wait…s’cuse me? “Get the money somewhere else?” Where!?

Why…we’ll just add a new tax to YOU, the non-smoker!

Too bad, so sad, but unfortunately with the revenues declining from tobacco, what with a carton costing upwards of $90 or more, too many smokers simply quit smoking. And the chilllllll-drunnnnn are dying! We can’t have that, can we?

And besides, now that the SCHIP law is in place, we surely can’t just cancel it, right? Those poor kids are depending on “us” to keep their arms and legs from falling off, their diseases from happening, and everything else. Which children? Oh, I forgot! It’s the Poor children, including those of illegal immigrants. We wouldn’t want dead bodies on the streets now, would we?

Count on it. Smokers will eventually reach the point of quitting. Black-market cigarettes will become even a more massive business than currently. Already the Russian mob and other organized crime syndicates world-wide are taking control of international tobacco sales. Who cares what guns and murders take place, it’s all about preventing evil smokers from destroying the galaxy, right?

Keep an eye on your paycheck, Mr. & Ms. Non-Smoker. When the government discovers they’ve run out of the paltry revenues they got from the smokers, they’re coming after you next. If you’re fat, too bad. You can pay some extra taxes on your Twinkies and ice-cream. If you’re too old you shouldn’t be alive anyway, you’re just taking up space. If you have too much money it’s not fair, and you’ll have to give it up.

Mm-hmm, it’s a damn good thing everyone’s going after those smokers! They’re an unlimited supply of life-time addicts, all with way too much money in their bank accounts. They’ll fund everything, including the SCHIP bureaucracy. And when that’s been in place and taxes have been switched over to Average American, general health-care will be next.

You watch. It’s coming. First they come after the smokers…

From Martin Niemoller, a Christian pastor in Hitler’s Germany who lived through the Holocaust as it went on all around him:

First the Nazis came after the Jews, but I was not a Jew so I did not object. Then they went after the Catholics, but I was not a Catholic, so I did not object. Then they went after the Trade Unionists, but I was not a Trade Unionist, so I did not object. Then they came after me. And there was no one left to object.



  1. If drugs were legalized and taxed similarly, would you still hold the same view? Not everything needs to be looked through the glasses of money! As if, revenue is the only thing that drives the state and the individual! What people do with the money they have is more important than how much.

    Destination Infinity

    Comment by Destination Infinity — February 13, 2009 @ 4:10 am | Reply

  2. they already have.

    Destination Infinity

    Comment by Destination Infinity — February 13, 2009 @ 4:11 am | Reply

  3. Where it comes to politicians, public budgets and personal ambition, money is the ONLY thing driving the State. Individuals are driven by many different things, including sex, power, money, love, greed and so forth. All we need to do is look at someone like Gov. Blagojevich to see the separation between the individual and the public representative.

    The flaw in the above argument about drugs being taxed is that they already are illegal. To accomplish the same thing would mean first to legalize the drugs THEN tax them for child health care. A better argument would be to outlaw tobacco entirely.

    With all tobacco products off the market, it’s barely conceivable that lawmakers and the State would realize they might have to limit their spending to some nominal degree.

    In today’s political and social environment, pretty much everything MUST be looked at through the lens of money! Economics and the legal system are the structure and implementation of the society’s morality and value system. Power drives the State, not the individual, and public funds are the only way to achieve that power.

    Comment by Punchinello — February 13, 2009 @ 2:18 pm | Reply

  4. //Everything should be looked in the lens of money//

    I wish life was so simple. Make more money and be more happy. Direct proportion. I really wish life was that simple.

    Destination Infinity

    Comment by Destination Infinity — February 14, 2009 @ 1:21 am | Reply

  5. It isn’t a question of whether money makes you happy or kills you. The fact of the matter is that in a modern society, money is the basic function of survival. What you do with the money is up to you, but without money you won’t survive. It may be possible in third-world countries to live on agriculture and livestock, with simple bartering for manufactured goods, but not in America.

    At issue isn’t money. It’s the desire to control at the point of a gun the actions, lives, behaviors, choices, and even morals of other people. This new tax on cigarettes, which are still entirely legal let’s remember, won’t work. The result will be to shift the tax to everyone else in the society.

    Comment by Punchinello — February 14, 2009 @ 1:46 am | Reply

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