Punchinello’s Chronicles

September 25, 2008

The PowerPoint Economic Solution

Filed under: Surely a Jest? — Punchinello @ 2:14 pm
Tags: , , ,

First we had Katrina, and the billions of dollars toward rebuilding New Orleans. That doesn’t include all the Hollywood celebrities running around with hammers and nails. Of course we also have the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, where we’re borrowing money like crazy to pay for it all.

Then came the storms and destruction in the midwest, with many more billions of dollars going toward relief. We probably used Mastercard to pay for that at the federal level, which may have helped wreck some of the banking industry.

Next thing y’know, we’ve got billions and billions of dollars disappearing from consolidated banks. Right in the middle of the news today, all about the proposed plan to bail out the housing industry lending institutions, there’s a story about Northwest and Delta airlines merging.

When enough airlines join and merge then have trouble, we hear that: “They’re too big to allow failure. We must bail them out otherwise the consequences would be intolerable.” Who’s responsible for allowing all the airline companies to merge, merge, merge, and merge? Didn’t that happen in the banking system?

This past week, hurricane Ike devastated Galveston and huge areas along the southern coast. The federal government is going to send money there, too. After all, the good people of Texas were the first to offer help and assistance to the refugees from New Orleans. Oh…you haven’t heard who’s helping out the folks in Texas? Must’ve not been important to the news media.

Figuring that we should apply government principles to personal finance, I went to http://www.moneyfornothing.gov. They provide a free, downloadable PowerPoint template you can use to handle your own monthly expenses.

Money fer Nothin' and yer Chicks fer Free!

Money fer Nothin

Simply download the file to a location on your hard drive. Write down the amount of money you would like to have. The slide offers 3 bills on the page, so divide the number by 20, then by 3, to determine how many times to print the page. To prevent irresponsible use of the template, the government only offers the $20 bill, not the $50 or $100 bill. However, they say on the site that if needed, they’re prepared to offer a $G bill (Gazillion Dollar bill).

Don’t worry about mistakes or miscalculations. If you buy a house and realize you don’t haven enough money to pay for it, you can always print more.

This way we don’t have a government middle man, delays while waiting for bail-out funds, or legal hassles between the two parties. Remember, though, that you must keep track of the money you print. You’re on the Honor System! At the end of each quarter (that’s 3 months), be sure to calculate how much money you owe in taxes.

When you need money for your income and state taxes, remember you’ll want to use this template to print enough to send in to the government. That’s important, otherwise we won’t have enough for health insurance and to help our national industries.

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