Punchinello’s Chronicles

September 10, 2008

Going Ga-Ga for Green!

Filed under: Foolish Rants — Punchinello @ 10:00 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I’m fed up with all this “green” crap! Chris Rock has a really great routine about “lactose intolerant,” another of these modern-day politically correct nothing phrases. In that routine he talks about people starving in Ethiopia or Biafra, or whatever’s the current starvation place, and being lactose intolerant. When it comes down to choosing milk or dying of malnutrition, how many people are suddenly lactose intolerant?

Same with the “going green.” America is one of the most profoundly concerned nations in terms of the environment. It began with the anti-littering campaign of the 60s, moving through into recycling, and including all the many air-quality controls and everything else. What about the rest of the world! Or is it totally up to the US to fix the entire environment?

This comes out of a romantic philosophy that sprouted up 300 years ago. It speaks to the idea that all living things are completely equal, with complexity being totally irrelevant. In fact, the less complex is anything living, the more “pure” it is, the more worthy of life and of being protected.

I’d like to see a dolphin museum, or read a dolphin novel. The orca whale is the top predator in the oceans, and human beings are the top predator on land. People eat animals, and orka whales eat seals. Deal with it!

When we have an abundant economy, and plenty of excess time, we can certainly keep the local geography nice, clean, pretty, and organized. That’s just plain common sense.

But when we’re struggling with problems of survival, then I’ll take food over being green! How about when there isn’t any oil for heat, gas for cars, and everyone’s running a car that hasn’t been tuned up in a year because they can’t afford it? How much exhaust will there be in relation to a single volcano errupting, or a single gravel truck pumping out black smoke as it drives along the highway?

How about all that paper that makes up our money? What about the trash, and the pollution when it gets burned up? Why not go back to a gold standard, where the gold and silver gets recycled endlessly? Wouldn’t that be going green? I’ve had it with this “green” terminology.

It’s like if you don’t “go green” you’re the spawn of Satan, one step away from eating young children. Rice isn’t green, so why don’t we ban that in all the countries outside the US? In fact, let’s invade Viet Nam and prevent them from ever again growing rice. Everyone knows the paddies are filthy, filled with horrible diseases, and just another ebola outbreak waiting to happen. And let’s only eat green tomatoes, fried, preferrably.

How much does it cost to go green? Is it cheaper than going purple or red? Why not just make all the traffic lights only green, and save energy by never using yellow or red bulbs. And we could paint every road sign green too, thereby saving energy and the environment. Making paint messes everything up, after all.


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