Amazing Simple Home Health Remedies

There’s too much thinking going on with all this congressional health care reform. We should just go back to the old days, when life was simple and everyone knew how to handle medical problems.

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetable while you chop. Avoid arguments with the women in your family about lifting the toilet seat. Offer to use the sink. For high blood-pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thereby reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You’ll be afraid to cough. You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and Duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the Duct tape. “If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem. Daily Thought Some people are like slinkies — not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Here’s a flowchart of the currently proposed Democrat health care plan.

Flowchart of Democrat Health Care Reform